"HOW DO I KNOW?" - INTRODUCTION & CHAPTER ONE

Dear reader, how was your weekend? I hope you made the best out of it.  Mine was a long one; first was the Prayer summit I invited you for and the second was our annual church thanksgiving.  Both meetings were great and we thank God for the success.

So, like I said last week, it’s “back-to-business” for me…so help me God!  Let's get down to business as we continue with...

INTRODUCTION

In the beginning how was it?

It was God who realised the need for man to have companionship. That’s why he said it’s not good for man to be alone¹.  This shows that God is interested in marriage. God thought of how he can meet this need and said, “...I will make a helper who is just right for him².”

God still speaks on whom to marry but how many people are waiting on him to make that choice for them?

The kind of choice we make as individuals is based on our value system. What we get attracted to depends on our internal makeup (which comprises of our environment, our upbringing, our beliefs etc) while what gets attracted to us mostly depends on our outward appearance first, and then the internal makeup follows.

“Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect³”

God gave us the power of choice; we have the ability to choose anything we want. This is a privilege bestowed upon man by God irrespective of his belief. Our decision about anything solely rests on us. However, the passage states that we need to be able to discern the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. This tells us that as much as we have the power of choice, there is also the place of God’s will, and the purpose of this book is to find the balance between the two; our choices and God’s will.

Joshua gave the Israelites the power to choose⁴.  Thus man has the power of choice. Jesus said, “Father, if you are willing, take away this cup of suffering. But do what you want, not what I want.”⁵.

Though we have the power of choice, our will should be subject to the will of God.

My prayer for the person reading this book now is that God will open your eyes to see clearly what His will is for your life; the Holy Spirit will help you to align your choices with God’s will as they will be revealed to you and you will not miss your marital destiny in the name of Jesus. 

CHAPTER ONE

THE POWER OF CHOICE

God gave every human being the power to choose. Even though He created us and all we can see around and He has control over all He created, He intentionally left us with a free will.  Have you ever wondered why there are so many options on your mind when you are about to make a decision? Even when we have just one option, there’s still a choice to take it or leave it. God made it that way.

After God realised that Adam needed a helper, He went ahead to form the wild animals and livestock from the ground (Adam was also made from the ground). Then God brought them to Adam to be named. Adam named all the animals and the bible recorded that there was still no helper just right for him¹.

Was God expecting Adam to find a helper out of the animals? So if the long-necked giraffe, the beautiful whale or any of the good-looking monkeys were attractive enough, Adam would have chosen a helpmeet from them and God wouldn’t have had any influence on that decision. That’s how powerful our ability to choose is. Whatever we choose to do, we live with; it’s our choice and it becomes our life.

Adam didn’t find any of the animals attractive enough. He didn’t find the qualities of a helpmeet in them, so he was left alone still. Now the question is: what influenced Adam’s choice? How did he find what he was looking for in a helpmeet?

What Influences Our Choices?

·     

    Who we see ourselves to be: Adam couldn’t find a helpmeet out of any of the animals; he didn’t find his choice. This suggests that he understood or knew a bit about himself.  I will say that “If you know your worth, you’ll know what you are worth”. Amazingly, God didn’t tell Adam that He would create another being like him, but Adam had an idea. Each time God came into the Garden of Eden, he took a good look at himself and saw a resemblance, as he was made in the image and likeness of God².  I’m sure Adam must have said to himself:  my helper should look like us (God and I).  I’m yet to see any that looks like us among the animals, so let me wait a little more.

As individuals, without a proper understanding of who we are, we cannot know what we deserve; this could be called a good self-esteem. Who do you see yourself as? Who do you know yourself to be? Answers to these questions would determine your choice of a spouse. If you are a child of God, it is easy for you to get attracted to another child of God. However, when you don’t know your makeup or you’re not confident in it, “anything” becomes your choice.

REFERENCES

INTRODUCTION

 1.     Genesis 2:18 (New Living Translation)

      2.  Genesis 2:18 (New Living Translation)

      3.     Romans 12:2(New Living Translation)

      4.     Joshua 24:15 (New Living Translation)

      5.     Luke 22:42 (New Century Version)

 CHAPTER ONE

     1.     Genesis 2:20 (New Living Translation)

     2.     Genesis 1:26 (New International version)

REV. FUNKE-FELIX ADEJUMO'S FOREWARD TO MY BOOK - "HOW DO I KNOW"

Hello readers, it' been a while...yes it is… I'm back and I've decided (by popular demand) to post my book here for the benefits of those outside the country.  In the next couple of weeks, I'll be posting my book in bits for a "meaningful reading".  I will be welcoming questions and comments from you all.  So, my first post from the book is the 'FOREWARD', written by Rev.Mrs Funke-Felix Adejumo.  

This foreward is a message on its own.  A lot of people have been asking me if I have a relationship with her (so close to her), but sincerely, I'm still working towards it.  So, how come she wrote this?  Well, I believe the Holy Spirit must have ministered to her, and besides, it's a proof that she's a woman with a large heart.

Coincidentally, this weekend (2^nd November 2013) she will be hosting all mothers and mothers-to-be at her yearly event (Mother's Summit) in Lagos, Nigeria (check the attached picture).

 I'm using this medium to invite you (the woman and the "woman-of-the-man" reading) to this prayer summit.  By default, my yearly calendar is always crossed out for this programme and it has always been an awesome time to sow seeds into the future.  I promise you that you will not regret attending.

To the e-readers of my book, happy reading

FOREWORD

One evening when he went out to the field to think,

he looked up and saw camels coming.

Rebekah also looked and saw Isaac.

Then she jumped down from the camel and asked the servant,

“who is that man walking in the field to meet us?”

The servant answered, “That is my master”,

so Rebekah covered her face with her veil.

The servant told Isaac everything that had happened.

Then Isaac brought Rebekah into the tent of Sarah, his mother,

and she became his wife.

Isaac loved her very much,

and so he was comforted after his mother’s death (Genesis 24: 63-67 NCV).

Profitable relationships are platforms for accelerated progress in life and ministry. Your companions will determine to a large extent what you become and attain in your pursuit of destiny. The seven closest people to you apart from your immediate family members are a reflection of who you are and aspire to be. Relationship is so important that King Solomon proclaimed: He who walks with the wise will be wise but a companion of fools will come to ruin (Proverbs 13:20 NCV).

You may not have the privilege of choosing your parents but God has given you the prerogative to choose your friends and marriage partner. To make the right choice in marriage, you need to know how to go about it.

The Bible says God has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness (2Peter 1:3 KJV), more so, the blessings of God are given without sorrow (Proverbs 10:22 NLT).

Marriage is intended for pleasure by God. We have a loving Father who delights in the prosperity of His children. This same God desires that you enjoy His best in the area of marriage. He has made adequate provisions in His word to help you discover His best in marriage. He promised in His word to guide you in the way that is best for you. The Lord says, “I will make you wise and show you where to go, I will guide you and watch over you (Psalms 32:8 NCV).

I have been married for almost thirty years and I can assure you that in spite of its challenges; my marriage is sweet. Apart from the gift of salvation, my marriage is the greatest gift God has given me. My husband is my friend, my brother and my saviour. The Bible says the husband is the saviour of the wife (Ephesians 5:23 NCV).

God can give you the same testimony in marriage and in every endeavour of life but you can only access God’s blessings by knowledge. Many singles make mistakes in the choice of marriage partners and wreck their destiny because they do not acquire the necessary knowledge to make the right choice. Great men in the Kingdom are made great by knowledge.

A blissful marriage is not a function of wishful thinking, for life is not governed by miracles but knowing and abiding by godly principles makes the difference.

I recommend the book, ‘How Do I Know?’ by Ibilola. It’s a must-read for every single who desires God’s best in life and marriage. This scripture based book will prepare you for that right man and woman and also transform you into the good and perfect will for the right person.

I pray that God will make your marriage and home as peaceful and blissful as Eden before the fall. I pray that your love for God remains unshakeable. Also, may your love for your partner be as strong as Isaac’s for Rebekah and may your partner be a huge comfort to you.

Christ’s coming is at the door, please as His brides; prepare to meet the Bridegroom of the Church.

God bless you.

Rev. Funke – Felix Adejumo.

THE LADY AND HER EXPECTATIONS 2 !!!

...Still under the grip of this picture, I saw an element of placing one’s present on the past.  The set standard is “what-my-ex-did-not-do”, my spouse must do.  So, I saw a judgmental approach here, because anything below that standard will not be accepted, forgetting that we are made differently, and carrying your past into your future or present, is like moving forward with our face backward; you will end up falling down again.  We need godly standards and not society-driven standards or unrealistic and materialistic standards; these are elements of immaturity.

Finally on this, I can hear someone asking me, “Ibilola, does it mean I should not expect anything from my spouse?”  My take on this is, if you found him on the right principles, you will get the good you deserve.  However, if all you expect or you think you deserve are based on your “Mills and Boons”, “Fictions”, ”Africa Magic”, the unrealistic expectations based on your comparism with another person’s relationship (which you think is working right), then, you are heading towards a heartbreak. 

Surely, you deserve the right treat and this will happen when what drives your emotions is more of what (values) you can add to your spouse and less of what (value) you can get from him.