THE LADY AND HER EXPECTATIONS 2 !!!

...Still under the grip of this picture, I saw an element of placing one’s present on the past.  The set standard is “what-my-ex-did-not-do”, my spouse must do.  So, I saw a judgmental approach here, because anything below that standard will not be accepted, forgetting that we are made differently, and carrying your past into your future or present, is like moving forward with our face backward; you will end up falling down again.  We need godly standards and not society-driven standards or unrealistic and materialistic standards; these are elements of immaturity.

Finally on this, I can hear someone asking me, “Ibilola, does it mean I should not expect anything from my spouse?”  My take on this is, if you found him on the right principles, you will get the good you deserve.  However, if all you expect or you think you deserve are based on your “Mills and Boons”, “Fictions”, ”Africa Magic”, the unrealistic expectations based on your comparism with another person’s relationship (which you think is working right), then, you are heading towards a heartbreak. 

Surely, you deserve the right treat and this will happen when what drives your emotions is more of what (values) you can add to your spouse and less of what (value) you can get from him.

THE LADY AND HER EXPECTATIONS 1 !!!

Yea, I’m back again, with practical and proven approach to a restful relationship.  So, I saw this picture this morning on one of my contact’s profile and it got my thinking.  Before I knew it, I felt the usual grip and I couldn’t get myself back until I picked my pen and book, so I write…

The question is, ‘is it right or wrong?’  Well, that’s not my aim on this note; I just felt a concern for that lady with this mindset who has turned it to her own standard of measuring her spouse’s commitment to her.

I do not disagree with the fact that we are in a world full of expectations; either expecting something from someone or someone is expecting something from us.  You would, however agree with me that most conflicts lies on the bedrock of a fall in our expectations. 

So, back to the article, “Every woman deserves a man that can keep all the promises her ‘ex’ broke”.  I believe what this sentence simply implies is that a woman deserves a good treat from her spouse. If this is all it means, then we are on course, however, not just a woman but also a man.  But I read more than that; I saw a framed standard in the mind of the lady guarded within the walls of her past experience, then this got me thinking. 

I became worried for the lady full of high and unrealistic expectations (most times we ladies are full of it) from her spouse, which led to the break-up in her previous relationship; and also to the “sweet-talking” man, who understands one of our (ladies’) weak points (we get carried away easily with words of affirmation). So, he keeps feeding her emotions with these “lies” all in the attempt to get her commitment.