"HOW DO I KNOW?" - INTRODUCTION & CHAPTER ONE

Dear reader, how was your weekend? I hope you made the best out of it.  Mine was a long one; first was the Prayer summit I invited you for and the second was our annual church thanksgiving.  Both meetings were great and we thank God for the success.

So, like I said last week, it’s “back-to-business” for me…so help me God!  Let's get down to business as we continue with...

INTRODUCTION

In the beginning how was it?

It was God who realised the need for man to have companionship. That’s why he said it’s not good for man to be alone¹.  This shows that God is interested in marriage. God thought of how he can meet this need and said, “...I will make a helper who is just right for him².”

God still speaks on whom to marry but how many people are waiting on him to make that choice for them?

The kind of choice we make as individuals is based on our value system. What we get attracted to depends on our internal makeup (which comprises of our environment, our upbringing, our beliefs etc) while what gets attracted to us mostly depends on our outward appearance first, and then the internal makeup follows.

“Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect³”

God gave us the power of choice; we have the ability to choose anything we want. This is a privilege bestowed upon man by God irrespective of his belief. Our decision about anything solely rests on us. However, the passage states that we need to be able to discern the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. This tells us that as much as we have the power of choice, there is also the place of God’s will, and the purpose of this book is to find the balance between the two; our choices and God’s will.

Joshua gave the Israelites the power to choose⁴.  Thus man has the power of choice. Jesus said, “Father, if you are willing, take away this cup of suffering. But do what you want, not what I want.”⁵.

Though we have the power of choice, our will should be subject to the will of God.

My prayer for the person reading this book now is that God will open your eyes to see clearly what His will is for your life; the Holy Spirit will help you to align your choices with God’s will as they will be revealed to you and you will not miss your marital destiny in the name of Jesus. 

CHAPTER ONE

THE POWER OF CHOICE

God gave every human being the power to choose. Even though He created us and all we can see around and He has control over all He created, He intentionally left us with a free will.  Have you ever wondered why there are so many options on your mind when you are about to make a decision? Even when we have just one option, there’s still a choice to take it or leave it. God made it that way.

After God realised that Adam needed a helper, He went ahead to form the wild animals and livestock from the ground (Adam was also made from the ground). Then God brought them to Adam to be named. Adam named all the animals and the bible recorded that there was still no helper just right for him¹.

Was God expecting Adam to find a helper out of the animals? So if the long-necked giraffe, the beautiful whale or any of the good-looking monkeys were attractive enough, Adam would have chosen a helpmeet from them and God wouldn’t have had any influence on that decision. That’s how powerful our ability to choose is. Whatever we choose to do, we live with; it’s our choice and it becomes our life.

Adam didn’t find any of the animals attractive enough. He didn’t find the qualities of a helpmeet in them, so he was left alone still. Now the question is: what influenced Adam’s choice? How did he find what he was looking for in a helpmeet?

What Influences Our Choices?

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    Who we see ourselves to be: Adam couldn’t find a helpmeet out of any of the animals; he didn’t find his choice. This suggests that he understood or knew a bit about himself.  I will say that “If you know your worth, you’ll know what you are worth”. Amazingly, God didn’t tell Adam that He would create another being like him, but Adam had an idea. Each time God came into the Garden of Eden, he took a good look at himself and saw a resemblance, as he was made in the image and likeness of God².  I’m sure Adam must have said to himself:  my helper should look like us (God and I).  I’m yet to see any that looks like us among the animals, so let me wait a little more.

As individuals, without a proper understanding of who we are, we cannot know what we deserve; this could be called a good self-esteem. Who do you see yourself as? Who do you know yourself to be? Answers to these questions would determine your choice of a spouse. If you are a child of God, it is easy for you to get attracted to another child of God. However, when you don’t know your makeup or you’re not confident in it, “anything” becomes your choice.

REFERENCES

INTRODUCTION

 1.     Genesis 2:18 (New Living Translation)

      2.  Genesis 2:18 (New Living Translation)

      3.     Romans 12:2(New Living Translation)

      4.     Joshua 24:15 (New Living Translation)

      5.     Luke 22:42 (New Century Version)

 CHAPTER ONE

     1.     Genesis 2:20 (New Living Translation)

     2.     Genesis 1:26 (New International version)