...Still under the grip of this picture, I saw an element of
placing one’s present on the past. The
set standard is “what-my-ex-did-not-do”, my spouse must do. So, I saw a judgmental approach here, because
anything below that standard will not be accepted, forgetting that we are made
differently, and carrying your past into your future or present, is like moving
forward with our face backward; you will end up falling down again. We need godly standards and not
society-driven standards or unrealistic and materialistic standards; these are
elements of immaturity.
Finally on this, I can hear someone asking me, “Ibilola,
does it mean I should not expect anything from my spouse?” My take on this is, if you found him on the
right principles, you will get the good you deserve. However, if all you expect or you think you
deserve are based on your “Mills and Boons”, “Fictions”, ”Africa Magic”, the
unrealistic expectations based on your comparism with another person’s
relationship (which you think is working right), then, you are heading towards
a heartbreak.
Surely, you deserve the right treat and this will happen when
what drives your emotions is more of what (values) you can add to your spouse
and less of what (value) you can get from him.
Develop yourself; equip, learn, teach, be all you can and enjoy the
process. Ladies, stop waiting for the
man that will help you achieve your dreams, start achieving them now. Let the man meet you busy! He was not designed to make you a virtuous
woman, he was told to find one. Your
God-given spouse will not always give you that “push” you expect, you’ve got to
find the “push” on your inside and do all you were designed to do. They are not God, so I love this saying, “The
best of men are still men at their best”.
Ask yourself this question, “What does my man deserve from
me?” So, start giving him your answers.
Dwell much on what to give the man in your world, rather than what to
get from him; this is how to get what you truly deserve!
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