MAXIMIZE YOUR SINGLENESS

Joyce, thanks for inspiring this article

My Thoughts!! I wonder why the status “single” is not a state of pride for youth, but a status to avoid because of shame; this is very common among we females. I’ve seen several “relationships” but to me they are just bondages, where I’ll feel like asking “Is it a do or die affair?” Please let’s reason together, is being single a disease? What does it suggest to most of us, that we’re less beautiful, or less smarter or inferior….?

I’m really overwhelmed at the rate at which we youths react to the state of singleness which could be as a result of a broken relationship or maybe you’ve not yet seen the person that your heart knits. We pressurize ourselves till we end up hooking up with the wrong choice, all because of a facebook status of “married” or “engaged”…. Pardon me if I’m too harsh, but the truth must be spoken… I told someone yesterday that I don’t care how many times I try it, but my end result is living happily ever after.

The bitter truth is that you can never act or think like a single lady or man again, once you are married and hear this again, you will not know the treasure of time, resources, networking you have now as a single until you are married. So you don’t know the value of what you have till you loose it, except you MAXIMIZE it.

Being single or singleness is not a time of pity or a time to start meditating on why everyone is married and you’re not yet married. It’s a time to explore, discover and re-discover what God has placed on your inside and how you can use it to affect your world. It’s a state of being quiet within your soul, ready to hear what God is saying. “Quiet Souls, Singles Souls”, I heard this during my early years in school, when I started discovering myself in God.

God needs your mind/soul to be in a calm state as a single but the devil will always fight this and put issues like, “he doesn’t love me, like I do; he wants to sleep with me and I love him but I don’t want to, I need someone to help me to talk to him; I asked her out but she went for my friend….and all sorts, to preoccupy our mind so that we don’t connect with what God is saying.

Responsibility embraces you once you are married, your heart suddenly enlarges, for your in-laws, your friends, your relatives and your children, even the unborn ones, so a quiet soul is hard to keep to. If you cannot discover what God has called you to do when you’re single, to start and keep doing it before you get married, you might just end up living with your wishes and dreams after marriage. It is what you have started doing before marriage that has a “sure continuity” after marriage.

How to maximize your singleness

      Be happy you are single.  It’s as simple as ABC. Happiness is the first key to attracting any positive thing to one’s life. Someone dear to me taught me this, years back “I’m happy with me”. Even after all your friends are married, still be happy. It’s about you and no one else.  People will always say something, so don’t even give attention to the “hiss drops”. Keep working on yourself and keep preparing, you don’t graduate from the school of preparation; you’ll keep getting better everyday.

      Be productive: Add value, is it business or service to community, just add value. Hear this, every man/woman, would love to marry someone that is highly productive, it gives a sense of “independency”. It tells that you are an ASSET. Also, add value to lives around you, be a giver, be a multiplier, let your spouse meet you in the field exploring your creativity, because we are all born with it.

      Be a Visioneer: I will keep saying it, the best of your time is now that you are single. Let this time be your developing phase, lay all the foundations you can for your future. No man has  been called to discover your vision for you, don’t let it ever cross your mind that your spouse will be the one to discover your purpose for you, you might end up marrying one without any, because you will attract your type. If you have a vision, don’t make the mistake of marrying someone without one because of pressure, he will end up distracting you from the one you discovered, he can’t embrace it, because he does not have one. No one sees your vision more than you.

There are still many more ways to maximize your singleness, but let me wrap up with this. Equip yourself, feed your dreams, whilst you are still single because the night comes when Children shall be round about your table and all you will have as a vision is to see them live for God.

I am single and I’m so happy with me. There’s no marriage that is worth trading your singleness for except that which you’ll have with God’s will and your choice for your marital life. Any relationship that keeps draining your vision and not feeding it, is not meant for you, quit it and stay single till your godly spouse comes in contact with you.

SAVE IT: IT'S NOT UR'S TILL.....

Save it: it's not yours, till you are married

It's so unfortunate that today people don't longer trace marital problems or issues to their past, i mean their past deeds where issues like that are related. But the truth cannot be traded for anything, Sex is beyond the flesh coming together, it's an affair in the soul and the spirit. A passage in the bible, precisely in Leviticus says that the life of a man is in his blood, and you'll bear me witness that it's blood fusion when it comes to sex irrespective of condom usage.


The point of orgasm is a stage that can't be controlled by any man no matter how smart you are, once you get there, you are being held till there's a release. And this explains the fact that something else apart from the flesh coming together took place. So, if it can't be explained in the physical, that means it's in the higher realm which is spiritual.


During sexual intercourse, there's an exchange of life, remember the blood is been exchanged and this same blood is life, so each party picks the life of each other, both the blessings and the curses, and there's a manifestation in the physical.


Now remember that fornication is a sin, and sin is of the devil and the devil does not give good gifts, so don't expect the blessings from this exchange, because the devil is in charge. All the misfortunes and badlucks and even consequences of sinning as been equally passed one to another all because of a 3mins pleasure.


Now, you went ahead and marry, and you put your innocent patner, that's if you find one, at risk of sharing the lives with people he/she never had contact with and the problem begins.
I know you are saying it that repentance will cure it, yes it will but a genuine one and also a breaking from those ties and links, for a happy ending ever after.

I'm a witness of this, though i'm not yet married but i'm free...


Yes we can have it, a happy married life, if only we can pay the price.

God bless you.

USE WHAT YOU HAVE TO GET WHAT YOU NEED

“Use what you have to get what you need” is a common saying among we youths of today; i mean both the ladies and the men. At a point in time, it was a “ladies quote”, that is it was common among the ladies but now, not only the ladies do say or do it, but also the guys.
Now, the question is what is that thing you have and what are you using it to get? The thing you think you have is not yours; it’s for someone else who will one day come to ask for it and how well you used it. You think you have “yourself to yourself”, this is a capital NO, you are not the owner of yourself, and it’s not your property: you’re just a tenant in a house that has its owner.
The owner just gave you the permission to live in his house, that does not equates the fact that you are the owner of the house, the truth still remains that someone else owns the house and not you. That the owner gave you the right to live therein, does not give you the permission to use his house wrongly. Anything done to the house wrongly is a MIS-USE or rather said an AB-USE.
You think you have your body to yourself and you can use it to get all the “likes” you want (placement, shelter, clothing e.t.c)…. now get a clearer picture. Imagine yourself as the owner of a house and you decided to lease it out to a tenant, the only responsibility that the tenant has is to maintain the house in a clean state. However, what the tenant could pay you with in return is to mess up the house with dirt, damage the building with friends and also insult your ownership. How would you feel at this? I’m so sure you won’t hesitate to send such a tenant out packing.
This is exactly what you are doing each time you mess around with your body because the body is not yours, its God’s property. The scripture says “don’t you know that your body is the temple of the living God (1cor3:16-17)”. Your body is God’s habitation, He dwells in it so anytime you allow anybody to mess with it, you’ve just abused it; you’ve just insulted the owner (God). Stop exposing God’s privacy, He prefers to hide himself in you, don’t allow God to send you packing.
God gave you everything to enjoy but He said your body is HIS’, He didn’t give it to you, that’s why He made you in His image after His likeness, so that when God looks at you, He sees himself.. I believe you will not allow God to send you out of His house, you’ll ask me how, then I’ll tell you that you can loose your life and have nothing to gain. Everything that has to do with the usage of your body is meant to glorify God and nothing else.
But to think of it, what could have actually led you to such? Is it a job opportunity or lack of clothing and shelter or so that your boyfriend might feel secured and loved? Oh… I see that’s why he is still a boy and not a man (it’s not in age or size). He does not need to have sex with you before feeling secured in you. Or is it not better to loose the job than to loose your life?
Now, see this, do you actually know that you have something you can use to get all you need? You have something you’ve been ignorant of that can get you more than what you need. You have that same “owner” of the place you’re occupying, the giver of all things, you have His son (Jesus Christ), you have the Holy Spirit who is always at your service, to comfort you, instruct you, lead you, guide you, but you’ve not been making use of these that you have. You have the scriptures, the word of God, you can apply it to your life, there is a lot of it that can get you what you need.
I could remember when l fell on this scripture in Pro.21:1 “the king’s heart is in the hands of the Lord as the rivers of water, He turns it wherever he wills”…. I actually had a lot of people standing like “kings” (lecturers, managers e.t.c) at that point in time, I needed to get something from them and they were in position at that time, it was more like a frustration because they were proving hard, as if they needed something. Then I started praying this scripture and the favour came, even beyond what I wanted.
That’s what the word of God and the HolySpirit can do for you, this is what you have in order to get what you need, not an abnormal use of your body. Don’t sleep with any man/woman in order to get anything you need. Such needs when they are met through such means, they don’t last, they fade away overtime. It is only what you get through the help of God that outlast you. Don’t allow anyone to mess with your body for any reason, keep your body, it is not yours but God’s. Believe in God and not man and you’ll get what you really need beyond what you want.
If you’ve been in this before now like me, it’s high time you said NO MORE to abnormal use of your body. It’s possible, because I am a living witness of its possibility. Ask for God’s help to stand when temptation comes and you’ll overcome it.
God bless you.